I hate soccer. And don't AT me. I said what I said, and I meant it. Paint drying is more exciting than soccer.
The only sport worse on Earth is tied between women's golf or basketball. Anyway, now that the pleasantries are out of the way and I have established my disinterested, unbiased bona fides, I have to say, I am mad for the young European soccer fans who have come over. They are doing their dream tour of the United States before the FIFA World Cup games in the various cities get underway, and sharing them on X. I don't know if any of you have been keeping up with the various accounts - a fair amount of the really hilarious ones are German, but I've seen Scottish, Japanese, and South African, too.
They have been nothing short of absolutely charming, while discovering all the magical things that make America special with the wide-eyed wonder of your four-year-old's first look at an elephant up close. And what's more, as a friend of mine said, they're a mirror reminding us just how special we are, in case we've forgotten. One of the fellows who really captured hearts is named Freddy. He's a German who's here with a bro, and they are doing a road trip right.
WE‘RE GOING TO THE WORLD CUP!!!! pic.twitter.com/AlBP4ZW3jz— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 5, 2026 He and his buddy landed in New York and then headed to Atlanta. This is such a unique experience. We’re all wearing our Germany jerseys and so many people at the airport keep asking us about the World Cup.There are already so many fans here in jerseys too, especially Scots. Some even wearing their full traditional dress. pic.twitter.com/K8E0vY8LxL— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 5, 2026 To be honest, the Scots have been busy sending out helpful hints on how to speak 'American' to their traveling fans...
Introducing the Scottish-American travel dictionary 🇺🇸🏴We’ve put together this guide to keep the Tartan Army out of trouble in the States.Read carefully to avoid confusing the locals, deeply offending the country, or being interrogated by Homeland Security over a sandwich. pic.twitter.com/tu1doNWqRf— Scottish Banter (@1scottishbanter) June 10, 2026 Do not cheerfully tell American airport security that your granny 'packed you a piece' for the flight. They will shut down the entire terminal and you will never see Scotland again. ...for fans to read when they weren't complaining. 🚨BREAKING: Scottish fans landing in Boston today are complaining that their plane ran out of beer. pic.twitter.com/DFG3RaVDSd— Polymarket Sports (@PolymarketSport) June 11, 2026 Or waking up the AirB&B neighbors. I love it https://t.co/fKVUqe3OJH— Sean Bannion (@SeanBannion) June 11, 2026 Another young German named Fiago was up in the Windy City, sampling the food and wandering around. Some proper Chicago food bro they have a milkshake with cake in the cup it‘s ridiculous 😭 pic.twitter.com/Soa2oL0xx9— 𝗙𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗢 🇩🇪 (@fiago7) June 7, 2026 He experienced an emotional moment at the stadium.
First time experiencing this flyover Americans do before big sporting events and I have to say it goes kinda hard pic.twitter.com/WXZ6Vk5i1W— 𝗙𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗢 🇩🇪 (@fiago7) June 9, 2026 And this made my heart so glad. All the jokes aside Americans are actually some of the friendliest and most welcoming folks I have ever met. Been to Miami, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles & Chicago now and everywhere I met amazing people. 100x friendlier than the grumpy Germans at home 🫶🏼— 𝗙𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗢 🇩🇪 (@fiago7) June 7, 2026 Meanwhile, Freddy was on the road, and had to stop at the Retail Holy Land of Legend. WALMART ACTIONNNN!!!😁 pic.twitter.com/E0tF6uUDI2— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 8, 2026 One fellow explained how it feels for a European to be in a Walmart.
He said he got lost the first time and can't resist its siren call. A European man breaks down how they feel when they go into a Walmart. pic.twitter.com/ssFAviS3dY— Richie Rich (@gofishh77) June 11, 2026 Freddy knew where to stop for breakfast. Just had our first Waffle House experience at 1am. Great food, great prices, and friendly staff. 10/10, we will be coming back.😋 pic.twitter.com/QHgftpqfoX— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 8, 2026 The beverage choices after what looked like a Georgia zip-lining trip almost undid him.
Lmao how am I supposed to choose from all of this? This is overwhelming me😭😭😭 https://t.co/PBMhyA5BLt pic.twitter.com/Rq3Jel7y3G— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 8, 2026 The gorgeousness of this great country is breathtaking. Brasstown Bald, highest peak of Georgia⛰️Looks a bit like the rainforest here. pic.twitter.com/uZjeW00p4j— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 8, 2026 Tennessee to Alabama and Florida, all on the way to New Orleans. The boys' road trip has been most excellent so far.
This is the most “The European mind can’t comprehend this” moment of my life. One of my friends said, “Punch me five times tomorrow and I’ll still think this isn’t real.” pic.twitter.com/FWYOY8iyDF— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 10, 2026 Witnessed the flight of the War Eagle at Auburn's stadium. There’s an eagle flying around the stadium pic.twitter.com/luC6ENq7oM— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 10, 2026 And found that most cherished of roadside institutions - the beaver's place. DUDE LMAO THIS IS A GAS STATION😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/YYFmWJiCQa— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 10, 2026 Dinner on sacks of seed corn at one in the morning.
Dinner from Buc-ee’s at 1am😋 pic.twitter.com/1p0iZLfmOW— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 10, 2026 Dude. With an XL drink. Eating Buc-ee's on top of feed corn at 1am. Someone get him a hat and gun, he's a citizen now.— Matt Matheus (@triathenum) June 10, 2026 The beauty of Mobile Bay's Eastern Shore.
Camera doesn’t do it any justice. Sunset looked way better.— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 11, 2026 Always helpful folks in the comments, too. You have any trouble down there, just let me know. Old buddy of mine is the local Sheriff.— Will Collier (@willcollier) June 11, 2026 Blowing the unsuspecting European mind in Daphne, Alabama.
We found another surreal place on our way. I know some people will say I’m too positive about everything I see, but this place was crazy. They had a shooting range in the store. pic.twitter.com/dBkEDzmRKo— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 11, 2026 They'd discovered a country singer named Ella Langley. Freddy said she'd become 'basically the soundtrack of our trip.' The station they were listening to knew about their trip and almost brought the boys to tears.
The most surreal thing of our trip so far. Currently driving towards Louisiana and the radio station we were listening to started talking about our trip and played Ella Langley especially for us😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/8mJjP39TnV— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 11, 2026 Through it all, the stops at the everyday places we all go - no resorts, no amusement parks, no high-end hotels or restaurants - Freddy, his friends, and every other soccer tourist on their first jaunt around the country have been, like - America - WOW And that goes for the Americans who live here, no matter what state or what circumstances. I love Americans. We were about to walk an hour to the stadium in the rain to save on an Uber, and the receptionist at the hotel we were parked in front of decided to drive us there.🙏 pic.twitter.com/ta9crNM0ok— Freddy🇩🇪 (@FreddyLA7) June 9, 2026 I CAN'T WIPE THIS SMILE OFF MY FACE European soccer players 30 seconds after landing in America pic.twitter.com/KcBiw6SbgE— Robert Sterling (@RobertMSterling) June 11, 2026 USA.
A diner. The waitress asked me how I want my eggs, and my mind went completely blank."How do you want your eggs, hon?"Want. How do I WANT them. No one has ever asked me this.
In my land, the egg arrives as the cook decrees, and you thank the egg, the cook, and your… pic.twitter.com/tz1BZzvukw— NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 (@japan_nobunaga) June 11, 2026 ...No one has ever asked me this. In my land, the egg arrives as the cook decrees, and you thank the egg, the cook, and your ancestors, in that order."Scrambled? Over easy? Sunny side up?" she offered, gently, the way one talks a man down from a roof.The terms did not help.
Over easy — over WHAT, easily? Easy for whom? Sunny side up — these people have named an egg after the dawn. Who does that.
I needed time.I have chosen battlefields faster than I chose those eggs.She refilled my coffee and said she'd come back. It was the second refill. I had been deciding for nine minutes.It's eggs. Eight hundred years of my family training itself to want nothing, and this man dismissed all of it with a fork in his hand.
He was right. I will never tell him."Sunny side up," I declared, with the weight of a man choosing a path for life. "I will face the sun.""You got it, hon."The eggs came. Two small suns on a white plate, looking up at me.
Golden. Ridiculous. Exactly what I wanted.So THAT is what wanting feels like. I had to cross an ocean and hold up a breakfast line to learn it.I have never been more proud of anything.A man does not ask the eggs to be simple.
He only becomes a man who knows what he wants. We have so much here - from Dodge Ram pick up trucks to Buc-ees and Bass Pro Shops...or exactly the eggs you want, how you want them. WHEN you want them. Sometimes it just takes a joyful mirror held by people who have none of those things, whose lives enjoy none of those simple pleasures we take for granted every day of our lives, to show us how precious what we have truly, truly is.
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